Stumbling in the Dark

 I am stumbling, crumbling,
I am flailing, failing.
I stand still in the current – 
Is this me?
This unpleasant swashing from side to side
And up and down
And round and round – 
Why can’t I flow straight?
I want to resist but cannot,
And so I rush on
In this neverending wash of emotion and discovery,
Of bounding forwards and leaping sideways
This ebb and flow, which I need to grow,
Holds me gently, and when I let go I know, –
This stumbling in the dark,
This is my path