We live in a world where increasingly we are isolated individuals, with no strong community to speak of. Perhaps we have a core group of friends who live in the same city, perhaps we have a community of like-minded souls online, perhaps we have scattered friends and no core community.
And it’s a problem. It’s a problem because we need each other for so many things. To live and laugh with, to mourn and cry with, to share and learn with. The greatest gift of all that we give each other however is healing.
So often, our hurts just need to be seen. To be shared with others, to be held and looked at openly, with love, without judgement. So many of our wounds, even guilt and shame often just need to be met by another pair of human eyes, another soul, to be allowed to exist completely, however ugly and raw and horrific they might be.
Even those dark, heavy places in us that have been there a long time – if we open up just a tiny crack and let another person peek inside, with love, understanding, and empathy, the darkness gets a bit brighter, the heaviness a little lighter.
Being the other is not always easy; meeting profound pain and even despair can reach into places deep within us as well – but we can learn to be grounded enough in our own core that we can be fully present with someone else’s pain without it affecting us. We can learn to hold our own calm space with whatever is present in others, even when we’re deeply connected to them and they are experiencing intense emotions.
It’s not always easy – but it can be learnt. And once we’ve learnt, we can be healers for whomever we meet. It’s a great gift that we have – and one of the most beautiful examples of our interconnectedness.
An Open Channel
The most important aspect is to stay open; to let the pain of the other flow through you if it comes to you, without holding on to it, contracting, or identifying with it. To be like an open channel, firmly grounded to meet the other’s pain, expanding in the present moment, and letting all that arises pass through you.
It’s a very beautiful practice; a spiritual practice, a human practice.
We all have this capacity to heal and be healed in connection with others. All we have to do is open to love, compassion, and our own innate wisdom.