This post is a question about accountability. It’s a topic that gets my knickers in such a knot I’m not sure whether it’s from other people’s behaviour or if I twisted them up myself with all my squirming.
Here’s the question: when did it get ok for people to have such low standards? And by that I mean low standards of behaviour? When did being honourable, honouring your commitments, keeping your word, and being responsible become outdated?
Don’t get me wrong – I am far from perfect, but at least I f**king try. And when I mess up, I own it.
Today I spoke with someone who is in a professional relationship with me and who really messed up. It cost me time, effort and money. And when I confronted her in an open and honest way, she refused any accountability for her behaviour whatsoever.
I am frequently surprised and frustrated by people promising to do things and then never hearing anything again. I have several friends who repeatedly either don’t show up when they said they would or don’t show up at all – and every time I wonder “Do I expect too much? Is the problem here really with me?”
But the thing is that deep inside, I know it’s not me, I know that all I ask for is what I give. No more no less. And that involves respect, honesty and accountability.
And I think I’m done.
I’m done putting up with accepting that kind of behaviour. I know what I want my life to look like, I know what frequency I want to live at.
And it’s not down there with the mediocre or the downright crap.
Luckily I also have many friends who are ultra accountable and deeply honest – and this shows me that it’s not that my expectations are unreasonably high; it’s that we have high standards.
I know it’s hard to pull yourself up when you’re feeling low. I understand that it’s tough to ask more of yourself than you receive from those around you. Trust me, I know exactly how hard it is. But the bottom line is that you are what you do, and so you have a choice. You always, ALWAYS have a choice:
“What kind of person do I want to be today?”
I fail all the time. And every day I ask “Please help me to do better”. And I try. And I fail. But in that trying and failing, I learn, I stretch my limits, I surprise myself occasionally. And I do better.
All I’m asking is for people to try. And when they fail, to step up and own it.
Because without that level of presence, nothing will change; neither individual lives nor the world.
And we all want things to change, right?