Really angry. Angry like I haven’t felt in a very, very long time.
The reason? I am f**king sick of all these guys who go around presenting themselves as f**king überenlightened (sorry, this one is going to be dirty) when they’ve at best started their spiritual journey (note: I’m speaking here about men because that’s my experience – I’m sure it’s possible that there are women like this too..I just haven’t met any of them).
I’m also mad at myself because this is such an old f**king story; of seeing the highest potential in people (especially men) because I’m a ridiculous optimist and because I want to live in a world where people try to live up to their highest potential and because I am LONGING for more men in my life who are deeply spiritual, awake, self-aware and emotionally cleared.
The signs are always there from the beginning. I can’t feel a heart-connection. I don’t get any sense of humility. And the biggest sign of all: no sense of humour. I don’t trust anyone who calls themselves spiritual but doesn’t have a sense of humour. If they haven’t got to that stage of understanding I don’t give a f**k how much ‘Oneness’ they say they’re experiencing, it’s bullshit.
And this is what really gets me – if you’re arrogant you don’t believe you need to grow. Which means that until something happens to burst that pretty bubble of self-delusion, they’re effectively stuck. Also – hello – the first f**king lesson of all spiritual traditions is humility! How is this universally acknowledged foundation of spiritual committment missing in these guys? Is it less sexy than Oneness perhaps??
And the heart-connection; spiritual practice begins with simple things – love thy neighbour. If you manage that, love the rest of the world. If you manage that, get way out there and love the whole freaking Universe and float around in Oneness. But start with your neighbour. If I don’t feel a heart-connection, it’s because his heart is not open. If it’s not open, there’s no neighbour-loving going on. No neighbour-loving = spiritual fail.
There should really be a manual for this shit.
Thinking about all of this I recognised stronger than ever that to me, personal development taken deep enough necessarily gets to a level where it becomes spiritual development. So I guess I make an assumption *warningsignsflashing* that everyone who is interested in deep levels of personal development is on a spiritual path. And maybe that’s not the case. Maybe some guys just want to “Be more awesome” and don’t care that much about actually being better human beings (and we’re back to loving your neighbour).
I really want to tell these guys, don’t dick around with this shit. Don’t take yourselves so f**king seriously. It’s really unattractive. And definitely not a lane on the highway to enlightenment.
In the words of my highly evolved, spiritual, awake, self-aware and emotionally cleared brother, I ain’t got time fo this shit.