I want to open a space for Dark + Messy

I love dark and messy. It’s where I spent most of my life.

I’m good at dark and messy. The chaos, the falling, the desperate unknowing if I’ll ever climb back up into the light..It’s so fucking familiar that it *almost* doesn’t scare me anymore.

And there’s still so little space for it in our culture.

Still this pervasive “keeping up appearances” bullshit. Don’t be messy, you’ll ruin your reputation. Don’t be messy, you’re meant to have it all together. Don’t be messy, it’s self-indulgent. Don’t be messy, you’ll upset people.

The Dark isn’t even acknowledged for the most part.

And so the Dark and Messy gets hidden in the murky rooms of our souls where no light gets in, and festers like darkly growing cancer. It takes up space that could otherwise be filled with light and love. It weighs on us like a dead weight, a burden, a shameful secret.

I want to open a space for Dark and Messy.

A space in which it’s safe to look; in which we feel brave enough to take a first peek, to let in a single beam of light into that musty room….and maybe even to start pulling out bits of mess, offering them as the sacred pieces of our souls that they are, letting them be purified and alchemized into grace.

Because when we share those unspeakable parts of ourselves, those whispers of dread, those raw, pining, aching, ugly, grieving, groaning, screaming bits, and they meet with total acceptance and love; they are transformed.

And it feels like a miracle.

I want to invite us to go there, together. To take each others hands, say a prayer, and jump.

Because secretly, deep, deep down, we all love Dark and Messy.

It’s scary as fuck when we try to pretend it’s not there, but even holding that fear there’s an almost dirty desire to claim it, to tear off the mask and howl, to dive into the dark and revel in the mess.

Dark + Messy: Coming soon.



3 thoughts on “I want to open a space for Dark + Messy

  1. I, too, have known darkness. In fact I still do, Steph. The darkness I have learned to be comfortable within yields, for me, a light, a strength and a source of hope. It’s where my heart resides and from where all of who and what I am emanates. I no longer fear darkness or depths as I have risen from them. Abyss is one of my favorite words, a word that spooks too many. You craft and share your thoughts well.


    1. Yes the abyss is a place we all have to pass through at some point…and it seems the strength and light we derive from that passage are proportional to the depth of the abyss..
      Thank you for your visit and share (and compliment!) :)

      Liked by 1 person

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