The Most Important One Ever

Today it really sank in; after all those long years of searching, of feeling so isolated inside, so alone, I have finally found my tribe.

It feels like a miracle.

With them I don’t need words – not to explain, not to be seen, not to show that I see. I can just be. Me. Accepted, heard, understood, and whole, perfect just as I am. Often they see deeper inside me than I do, and they hold pieces of me out, offering them to me with unconditional love. It is impossible to reject anything which is offered in this way, and so I grow, gently, under their compassionate gaze.

And I too, see them, and marvel at their courage, their insight, their depth, their complexity, the strength of their vulnerability and am so deeply grateful for their existence.

* * * * *

All those years I was searching I didn’t really know what I was searching for. I knew it when I stumbled across it, but found it impossible to pinpoint what ‘it’ was – what did those few extraordinary people have in common? ‘Spiritual’ didn’t cover it, and in fact many people considering themselves spiritual I couldn’t connect to at all; ‘environmentalist’ didn’t seem to be it either, psychologists and philosophers didn’t necessarily capture what I sought either…

Today I realised what that thing is: the understanding that we are all one being, all of life, and the desperate urge to move collective evolution forwards towards a sustainable, compassionate, conscious culture.

It’s this big-picture, future-oriented consciousness, this striving towards awakening not as a selfish goal but in order to play a part in the effort to move humanity towards an awakened, conscious, balanced existence, and into our full potential as a species.

And in finally being able to describe my tribe, I sink deeper into my understanding of myself; my priorities, my role, my reason for being.

It feels like grace

Those of you who resonate with these words, come find me. I’m waiting for you.


Spiritual Competency; Notes from a Workshop with Thomas Hübl

Last weekend I finally attended a workshop with Thomas Hübl, whose work I discovered over a year ago through the integral network, and whose down to earth discourses resonated very strongly with me from the first. In addition to his profound understanding of human existence, he talks about the connection of spirituality to culture; something which I feel is crucial and not commonly discussed.

In the space of just one evening and one day he gave us so much to think about – my mind is still in overwhelm but I will attempt here to untangle my scribbles and brain-muddle and give you some idea of the content of this exceptional experience.

* * * * *

♥ To practice spirituality “in the marketplace” is to bring our practice into every aspect of our lives, rather than having an occasional dip into it in spiritually oriented group experiences; to actively participate in creating the culture at the same time as prioritising our spiritual practice

♥ Do you wake in the morning with a YES or a NO? NO indicates that you are not in flow, not doing what you need to be doing with your life, that you reject things as they currently are. What it is you are saying NO to? The NO has a lot of power

A radical spirituality means to place awakening in the center of your life

♥ There is a constantly fluctuating balance to be found between stillness and movement

♥ We each have a core intelligence which is the creative or evolutionary impulse within us – our purpose in life is to express this unique intelligence. When we live this, we wake up with YES

♥ The stronger the inner potential that is not lived, the stronger the tension I will experience ,due to the lack of alignment between inside and outside

We have the ability to listen to life in two channels simultaneously – the outside channel and the inside channel (when we are tuned in to our core intelligence)

♥ There needs to be a healthy tension between the established structure within which we live and the creative impulse within us in order for grounded evolution to occur

♥ Life is a dance, a constant movement of leaning in, pulling back, ebb and flow, speaking and listening

♥ Education needs to move from knowledge-based to potential-based; an initiative in Germany is working on this transition for 100 schools in the country

♥ We must develop the competency of change

♥ When dealing with unhealed wounds, it is important to recognise the difference between the story of what happened (which is in the past and as such no longer exists), and the leftover energy (which is still with you in the present)

Transparent communication involves seeing not only the person as they present themselves in this moment, but seeing also all the past phases of their life, and all the possible future potentials – this is to see the whole person, rather than the story of themselves which they identify with at that particular moment

♥ We can try to become aware of how often we project the discomfort of a situation outwards

♥ Learn spiritual competencies playfully – one of the foundations of Thomas’ work is the principal that spirituality should be approached as a science, in the sense that we learn through experimental experiences and can acquire high levels of competency with dedicated learning. The crucial aspect however is to balance logical inquiry with intuition (the knowledge that we procure through our core intelligence) – this gives rise to an open curiosity about what is unfolding in our development

♥ We can tune into people like a radio station

If the questions you ask in your spiritual practice do not change, something is wrong

♥ When you make awakening your first priority, it is like your clothes getting wet – it seeps into every aspect of your life

♥ “Express yourself completely and then be quiet” – Lao Tzu, “Tao Te Ching”

♥ When we feel discomfort, we must look closely; what is the smoke and what is the fire?

♥ Learn to notice the difference between wired thinking (our stories, patterns, structure) and original thinking (arising spontaneously from our core intelligence)

♥ Make a commitment to see each person as though for the first time. The moment I think I know you, I don’t see you anymore

♥ It is unhelpful to adopt mystical wisdom when we are not ready because it will live only in our minds and not in our hearts. This allows us to tell ourselves the story that we are quite advanced in our practice even though we are not, and the risk is that we remain at this stage of development because we believe the story (and it’s easier than doing the necessary work)

Fear is just stored energy from the past in the bodymind; it’s not real (there’s no lion sitting in front of your cave about to have you for dinner)

♥ Mature emotional intelligence allows us to be with each other fully, even when we are uncomfortable with how we feel in the presence of the other person

♥ “Do you have the patience to wait until the mud settles and the water is clear again?” – Lao Tzu, “Tao Te Ching”

♥ We all come into this life with a backpack. Our mission is to unload all of what we carried with us

♥ When someone shuts down energetically (for example, in a conversation), they are telling you NO

♥ Spiritual growth is not linear

When you have a high spiritual competency, you become a master of dancing with life

♥ All our neurotic patterns had a purpose when we created them; healing involves seeing that they no longer serve us and letting them go

♥ When we contract, we lose presence (our contracting is a rejection of the present)

♥ Our spiritual practice must be a dual effort of transcendence (understanding mystical principles) and grounding (leading to more competency in the world). There is no point to the practice if it does not help us to live better

♥ Tension in the bodymind is unlived intelligence

♥ The ego is like a closed fist. By opening the fist you realise that you are not an isolated rock in the river, you are the river itself

♥ Be a “living update” of yourself – continuously expanding and integrating the new levels of being and development into all that you were yesterday

♥ Become aware of when you are dealing with form, rather than essence

♥ Awakening is necessary for a sustainable culture

♥ The age of opinions is over. Higher attunement means listening to others without our personal filters

♥ People are not objects, but movements; creativity in action

♥ There are 3 levels of development: Premature (the ego,”I want”, at the mercy of other people and context); Mature (half giving, half getting – cocreating relations and context); Spiritual (giving is the priority, your presence uplifts others and context)

♥ Big idea: Presence is viral

♥ The concept of equality is BS (apart from in spirit) and is often used as an excuse for mediocrity. Creative intelligence brings excellence

With deep presence, communication can become meditation

♥ There is a big distinction to be made between spiritual competency and spiritual flatland (just words; emotionally premature state, wishful thinking)

♥ Confusion is sometimes actually resistance, a way of saying NO – it’s important to take responsibility for finding a way of communicating your truth in a more constructive way

♥ Fear must be infused with aliveness and power

♥ Doubt is a lack of base energy; often a sign of a cold base (not well rooted in corporeal existence)

Issues that we do not have closure on are leftover energy from events in the past. This energy is at the premature level of development. Healing can occur when the energy is met and helped to mature and evolve

♥ When a child’s creativity is not seen and received by the parents, blockages may result in the expression of the core intelligence

♥ Lack of clarity indicates a lack of flow

♥ If you are prepared to burn in hell within yourself, this is the beginning of real freedom

♥ It is important to take any open issues/leftover energy with you as you transcend in other spiritual competencies

♥ Transparent communication is an excellent tool for spiritual development which we can use “in the marketplace” as our shadow sides are often only revealed in relation to other people. If we practice this skill, it is possible to become an anchor of presence for others – we can become a well, a source

“Pain” is often resistance to an intense feeling

♥ Premature energy means a lower competency in this area

♥ Living an awake life will also change our culture of dying (currently around 80% of health care funds in Germany are used for the last 6 months of people’s lives; huge struggle to die!)

Issues/problems are not blockages on our path. They are our path